"If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own." ~ Henry Ford

NLP Technology of Achievement: Exploring Relationships

1. Self

The first Neuro-linguistic perceptual position “Self” is a total self-reference, and operates from the self or from ones own eyes. Explore what you think about the relationship. Label both your own and the other person's behavior. Change the state – shake off all bad feelings.

2. Other

The second perceptual position “Other” enhances your ability to empathize. It gives you the ability to see another person’s logic especially when you are in an argument. You can also get some insight into your behavioral characteristics, and what someone else thinks about you. It is also an important model for strengthening rapport. Explore the relationship from the other person's point of view. Imagine how they experience your behavior. What sort of label would they put on it? How do they feel? Shake off that emotional state before continuing.

3. Observer

The third Neuro-linguistic perceptual position “Observer” is a complete dissociation from the entire conversation or experience. Go outside the relationship, become a detached observer – imagine a stage and see both of you on stage. See that other person doing what they do, and see yourself responding to them.Shift your question from 'How can I change that person's behavior?' to 'How am I reinforcing or triggering that person's behavior?' Explore how else you could respond to him or her.

4. We

The fourth perceptual position, defined as a “We”, is the viewpoint from the perspective of the system as a whole. In order to take the fourth perceptual position, step aside and take on the perspective of the whole arrangement by considering the best interest of the unit as a single entity. Associate yourself with the whole system. Here your aim is to contribute to this single unit, by considering “our” common goals.